Ok, so one of the things that is mutually great about and somewhat annoying about being single is the ability to have and maintain crushes. They're stupid happy daydream fodder most of the time but other times they're just a nuisance. In my experience I've noticed a few different types of crushes: The Celebrity Crush, The Unattainable Crush, and the “Oh Sweet Lord This Might Actually Work!” Crush.
So, let's take a bit of a closer look, shall we?
The Celebrity Crush
This one is probably the easiest to deal with. You see a pretty guy or girl on a movie screen and your head and other organs go “WANT!” (See Also: RDJ in the side view. Yum.) I've had this happen quite often. It's easy to do. Let's face it, the guys and girls of Hollywood are all varying shades of pretty. That makes them easy to crush on and easy to daydream about.
I'm completely and unashamedly guilty of this. I get these stupid little stories going in my head of where I meet my current celebrity crush and there are life changing events that cause us to fall madly into lust with one another or something else happens that makes me leave my humdrum life and things are different and better because I've met this crush. These daydreams have featured boy and girl celebrities and are overall pretty innocuous. I mean, I know that they're not going to really happen but they give me a nice little diversion from real life.
These crushes usually only get people into trouble when they start to get obsessive and stalkerish. I mean, we all remember Selena. That's a good example of taking the celebrity crush situation way too far. But for the most part, these are just innocent little fantasies that make people feel good and create a small diversion. There's probably some sort of communication studies psycho-babble that I should know that would describe this phenomenon, but I don't remember what it is. It's been a while since that Communication Theory class as an undergrad.
To Recap: Celebrity Crush = A-OK as long as you don't go nuts, let it affect real life, and aren't sending them your dirty underwear. Because, ew.
The Unattainable Crush
Ok, these next two are the ones that tend to cause heartache. The Unattainable Crush is the one that you see in the distance and for some reason or another you know that you have a snowman's chance of making it out of hell with his carrot intact of actually being able to hook up with the guy. Sometimes it's an instinctive feeling that we get and we nurture the fantasy for a few days before moving on. Other times, it takes some doing to realize that he is indeed unattainable. Maybe you realize after some observation that you don't match his “type”. Or perhaps it's just because you know that you could trip over his dog and spill a milkshake on him and he wouldn't notice you. For some reason or another this crush should be over before it began.
Yet still, it persists. Kind of like the puppy that follows you around the house but not nearly as endearing in most ways. At some point it probably becomes more of a nuisance than anything. More about that stage later.
These crushes are more annoying than anything most of the time. As long as you don't let it get to stalker level obsession it'll usually fizzle out on its own. After all, there's only so long that your emotions can butt up against a brick wall before finally it's just not worth it.
General Consensus: Annoying but harmless providing you don't let it take over your life. (Common theme, much?)
The “Oh Sweet Lord This Might Actually Work!” Crush
This is the one that I quite possibly the most difficult to handle. You meet a guy and he not only notices you but is actually willing to talk to you. Not only that, but as you talk and develop your friendship you realize that you have a lot in common and are quickly developing a great friendship. The problem? You have no idea how he feels about you even though you're getting to a crush point that you keep toying around with idea of replacing your last name with his.
This one is the worst of the lot to deal with because it's the one that you can see having the most affect on your current life and potential future. It's really hard not to have some pretty intense daydreams and fantasies about a guy that you can foresee spending your life with. Unfortunately, this also what makes this crush kind of dangerous. There is a good chance that you might focus on this particular crush so much that you'll miss something else that's right in front of you. Or you'll become disillusioned with the friendship because it's not developing the way your crush would like it and you'll lose a good friend out of it.
The best way to approach this one is proceed with caution. Always keep your wits about you and don't get so focused on what you want that you miss what could be. It's kind of like when you order the chocolate cake and then they come around with cheesecake or something. It could be that the best thing for you is just around the corner only you wouldn't have have been paying attention for it. That's not always the case, but it could happen.
Basically: Be careful and keep your head.
There we have it, a basic introduction to crushes. Mostly harmless little infatuations that can run away with us if not properly monitored. Believe me, I'm guilty as charged, especially on that last one.
Tune in later this week for Part 2: Dealing with Crushes: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
