Crush - Part 2: How to Deal

Ok, so I've established that for the most part crushes are an innocuous part of every day life. As long as you keep your wits about you and don't go insane, they're not a big deal. (Translation: Don't go all stalker or send your light of love bits of clothing and hair.) And if we're going to be perfectly honest, those little fantasies can be nice little mini-vacations from the monotony of daily life. Sort of like a coffee break for the mind and spirit.

However, that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't occasionally annoying and distracting. After all, if you've got a crush on a guy that doesn't know you're alive but you're part of the same social network (church, work, school, etc) it can be pretty difficult to get over a crush and move on. So, you've got to deal with it. Seeing the guy on a regular basis without losing your cool or your street cred by becoming a gooey mush-head every time Mr./Ms. Crush-Worthy walks into the room is a rough gig, but it happens to the best of us.

My most recent crush was one of those. I think I played it cool enough that he didn't know, but I guess I'll never know, and there's still a small part of me that threatens to go gooey when he walks in the room. And we saw each other quite often and I did entertain fantasies of a future. This guy fell somewhere in between the “Unattainable” and “Could Work” categories previously described. Fortunately for me, that crush died pretty quickly and I can look back on it now and go, “meh”. Well, ok, maybe not “meh.” There are still those annoying little moments where my brain threatens to go mushy, but that's residual.

Dealing with a crush when it's in play is a little like... there's not really a real world situation that is similar. Not that I can think of. It's kind of a world of its own, really. It's not like being in a relationship because apart from any friendship that is in place, it's not a relationship and so there's no fear of cheating or anything like that. The only way you get into that kind of trouble is if you let the crush control your life to the point that you're refusing other dates out of fear that you'll miss your chance with your crush.

Living with a crush is in a realm of its own. It's nice because it means that your brain and hormones are working properly. Sometimes after a long dry spell it's nice to know that your working part haven't rusted from disuse. Not so, proclaims the crush. They're still here and working! Yay!

However, it's not so nice because it seriously messes with your rhythm. Think about it. La-di-da-di-da, going about your usual business and bam! Crush! Like a sock full of quarters to the forehead. And suddenly your cozy little world is topsy-turvy. It's like the worst roller coaster in the world and it's hard to get off.

...of the roller coaster. Hard to get off the roller coaster.

Ahem.

Anyway!

Really, the best way to deal with a crush is to kind of ignore it and hope it goes away. Enjoy the little side bennies like day dreams and such, but don't let it overrun your life. And that's true of anything. As long as you're able to go about your daily business it's fine. But once you start calling into work because your crush got a flat tire and needs a ride to Burger King because he's hungry and this could be the catalyst to make him fall madly in love with you a line has been crossed. Actually, at that point it's been sprinted past and is back there in the dust clouds.

And really, a crush is little more than an active fantasy. It's brain candy. Sure, there are mutual crushes where the two people involved finally get a clue and have a go at dating each other, but the reality is that things aren't usually going to happen that way. That's why so few crushes actually result in real dates and boyfriends.

So, that's how to deal. Like most things in life, you just have to live with it and go about your life as usual. Which blows. It feels like there should be a cure all remedy to get over a crush, especially when you know it's futile. However, that would be a logical solution and emotions don't respond well to logic. Ever.

Tune in next time for the third and final installment of Crush – It's Over.

The Single Chick